For Earthlings of a certain crazy-science bent, fear that the Large Hadron Collider, once revved-up to full speed, could create a micro-black hole that would subsequently swallow the earth faster than you could set your TiVo, afforded good reason to tremble in fear every waking morning. Then, when the superfluid Helium cooling system broke-down, pushing back the start date, many of them looked on this event as a reprieve from a date with cosmic destruction. How wrong they were.
 Furnishing proof that not even the wackiest conspiracy-scientist can outwit Nature's singular evil genius, there would be none among them to predict that the first black hole would emerge, not from CERN, but from AIG. With shrewd dedication and a computational command of the forces of Greed, Men of Finance crafted a marvel so dense that it is able to suck-in, from the greatest civilized societies on the earth, their entire economies, while leaving the planet, and its inhabitants intact. |
 This incalculable capacity for swallowing wealth and spitting out nothing, surely must rank as one of the greatest mysteries of the Universe. |
